Morning Coffee

         My apologies for my lack of blogging lately, everyone.  Although I had the time for writing over the Christmas holiday, I wasn’t quite motivated nor inspired to do so.  Oddly enough, as my life picks back up and starts getting crazy again is when I make myself find the time to do these things….

        Nevertheless, this is what results:

        As I just mentioned, I’ve completed the first week and a half of my second semester back in college, and I’m already feeling the weight of stress bearing down on my shoulders.  Even before the semester started, I was not looking forward to the forever-dreaded BIO125 professor, whose name I cannot mention.  Now, this particular professor is an interesting character of sorts.  At first glance, I wouldn’t have even taken her as a professor.  In fact, as I was sitting in the room where my first lecture class with her would take place, I was watching the door every single time it opened, waiting to see the face of the person who would be responsible for my endless torture for 16 weeks.  This woman walked in, carrying all of these books, and I honestly just assumed that she was a non-traditional student.  But then I realized that she was heading to the front of the class, and my mind quickly became sidetracked.  She was nothing like what I expected, yet everything that I expected at the same time.  Without going into further detail, let’s just say that she has yet to live up to all of the rumors that I had heard prior to starting the semester.  Notice that I say “all.”  This is certainly implying that she has already lived up to some rumors…just not all.  Fortunately, I’ve always had a way with being on a teacher’s “good side,” and have already found a way to hopefully avoid being picked on and made fun of in front of the class (which is one of the rumors that have leaked out about the woman).  Call me a “Teacher’s Pet,” if you will.  I couldn’t care less.  I just want a good grade without being ridiculed in front of my peers.  =)

           As far as my other professors go, I have a crazy Indian (not Native American, but a man from India) man who is too smart for his own good, and should not be teaching a classroom full of 18-20-some year old students how to use the Internet.  Additionally, I have a Mr. Barbour (our Physics teacher in High School) clone who is also too smart for his own good to teach my Physics class.  However, I’d prefer listening to Physics Barbour clone any day over listening to a crazy Indian man from India talk about search engines and “How to use Google.”  Lastly, I have a communications class, taught by a very sweet, yet stern, older woman whose class consists of watching small clips of Shrek and arranging ourselves into small groups and learning how to talk to one another.

        Now, my descriptions of these courses and their professors are meant for the reader’s benefit of maybe getting a good chuckle in for the day.  I do, however, think that I have my work cut out for me this semester.  Although the communications and computer classes may be just “a walk in the park,” I think my Physics and Anatomy classes are going to be a bit more cut-throat.  

        In nearing the end of my first week of the semester, I was beginning to think, “This isn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.”  As Thursday came around, I suffered through an 8am-6:30pm day with one of the most terrible headaches/migraines that I have ever experienced.  I was praying to God just to get me through to the next class, then praying that He’d get me through 3 hours of Physics Lab.  Finally, it was the end of the day, and it was all I could to drive home.  How awful that my train of thought immediately went to, “I knew this week was going too well.”  I soon brushed it off and finished off the week.  Then came Tuesday.  Ohhhhh, Tuesday.  Tuesday is my other day of the week when I’m stuck at school from 8am-6:30pm.  Let me set the picture for you.  Monday night, I couldn’t fall asleep.  I was in bed at 9:30pm.  12am rolls around, and I’m still not asleep.  I keep tossing and turning, falling in and out of 15-minute intervals of sleep for another three hours.  Around 3:30am, I finally get out of bed and take something to help me savor the last three hours that I had to possibly sleep.  The next morning, my back was so incredibly sore, but I figured by midday, it would work itself out.  Midday Tuesday rolls around, and instead of the pain being relieved, I now have an aching back, a stiff neck, and a sore throat.  Again, I find myself sitting in classes with my hands folded in front of me, my head bowed, and praying to God to get me through this day.  Once again, the Lord pulled me through and I was at home, in the tub, talking to Curtis on the phone through the tears rolling down my face.  Today (Wednesday), I feel as though nothing was ever wrong with me yesterday.  

        “When you feel that you’re down to nothing, God is up to something.”:           

        This is exactly how I feel about my first two weeks this semester thus far.  Twice in two weeks, I was faced with putting my health in God’s hands to get me through the day…and that’s TWICE in two weeks that He’s pulled through for me.  How awesome a Savior we have?  What/Who are you looking to, to bring you through to the next day when you feel like you’re down to nothing?  The medicine?  The sound of a friendly voice on the other end of a phone?  A nice warm bath?  Or God?

        I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have God on my side than all of those others combined.  The rest falls into place from there.  

“How many Kings stepped down from their thrones?

How many Lords have abandoned their homes? 

How many Greats have become the least for me?

And how many Gods have poured out their hearts,

To romance a world that is torn all apart?

How many Fathers gave up their sons for me?

Only ONE did that for me…”

Excerpt from: How Many Kings by Downhere

As the year is coming to an end, you’ll find those who are starting to prepare their New Year’s Resolutions.  However tempting it is to fall into the “habit” of making yet another promise to myself that I don’t keep, I urge everyone, instead, to simply just be thankful.  Instead of worrying what the new year is going to bring, be thankful for everything that the previous year has already brought.

I haven’t written in a while, so I figured I’d stop by and say a few words and maybe share a few things that I’m thanking God for this year:

1.   With all of the worry and commotion going on this year with the Swine Flu, I’m thanking God for my health.  He’s kept me out of harm’s way and out of the hospitals.  lol

2.  The Lord has also blessed me this year by keeping me safe during all of my travels this year.

3.  He has also provided for me earlier this year and gave me the strength to get through a hard time, financially, as I was faced with a hard decision of whether or not to move back home.

4.  God continues to show his ever amazing presence in Curtis and my relationship, blessing us with the strength to overcome the bad times and praise him for the good.

5.  While living back at home wasn’t my ideal plan, God’s plan had something different in store for me as my relationships with both my mom and dad continue to grow and become what they should have been years ago.

6.  Earlier this year, with God’s hand in it all, I made one of the hardest and yet the best decision of my life: to go back to school.  The Lord has continued to bless me as I have just completed my first semester back in two years…so far, carrying a 4.0 GPA!!  PRAISE GOD!!

7.  I would also like to thank God for blessing me with a wonderful second family, as Curtis’ family has come to feel a lot more like my own.  I think my name will forever be “Giggles” with that family…haha!  Thanks to Curtis’ dad for giving it to me.  =)

8.  I spent a lot of time in prayer this year, feeling somewhat alone for not having many girl friends to spend time with anymore as many of my friends are away at college.  God had yet another plan in store for me when I went to college, blessing me by bringing two really awesome young Christian women to my “doorstep.”  I foresee the three of us continuing on in our walks with God together and being great supporters and motivators for each other as we go through our years at school.  Thank-you, girls, for being there.

9.  This may sound a bit odd, but I really thank God for my animals.  I cannot even begin to describe how much of an animal-lover I am.  Furthermore, I cannot even describe how good it feels to come home after a really bad day at work or school and be loved unconditionally by your pet (especially a dog).  Some days, I couldn’t care less about talking to anyone when I got home…but I’m always greeted with sweet, quiet meows from my cats.  Sounds silly, I know…but I’m very thankful for them.  =)

The list is endless, but I just wanted to share a few things with you all.  If you took the time to read this, make a comment below and share one or two things that you would like to thank God for this year.  His presence in our lives is endless if we just continue to allow him to help.  Bring everything to him, with an open heart, in prayer.  I promise you that He will answer, but understand that it may not always be the answer that you wanted to hear.

I wish everyone a blessed Christmas.  Enjoy this special time in thanking God for sending his son to take all of our burdens upon His shoulders.

I’ll be praying for every one’s safety in their travels during the Christmas season, and have a wonderful New Year!

This is why I cherish Lauren Johnson so very much.  Her ability to be there and open my eyes up to something at the right time never ceases to amaze me.  Although, I know that behind all of that, God is the one working through her for me.  

Thank you

WAIT FOR GOD’S VERY BEST

Everyone longs to give himself to another human being, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to the Christian:

“Not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content being loved by me alone…I love you my child. Until you discover that only in me lies your satisfaction, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone else or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best.”

“Please allow me to bring it to you. You must keep watching me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Do not be anxious.”

“Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or received from me. You must not keep looking off and away. Look up to me or you will miss the things I want to show you, and then when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you have ever dreamed of. You see, until you are ready, I am preparing the one I have for you.  I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time… Until you are both living exclusively for me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that reflects your relationship with me, Perfect Love. And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to experience in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you through myself.”

“Know that I love you utterly, I am God, the Almighty – believe and be satisfied.”

“The time has come

Separation lost the war to love

Take my hand

Grace has found you where you once began

You’re alive, your alive

In the waking of new life

Take my hand

In the end, there’s only LOVE!”

Excerpt from: Freedom by Run Kid Run

It often surprises me, although it shouldn’t, how God continues to show his perfect timing in many aspects of my life. This morning started out as any other morning would. I got ready for school, drove what seems to be the longest fifteen minutes of every single day, and was sitting outside my first class waiting for the preceding class to let out. As I was sitting there, my phone vibrated, which usually indicates a text message. The first thought that came to mind was, “Seriously, I have to get rid of this Twitter thing. It’s so annoying!” On this morning, though, I was studying for a Psychology midterm. The text message was from L.J., and it contained just a short passage of lyrics from a song: “His promises are true. He’s always closer than we’re far away.” It seems almost instantly, all my thoughts, fears, concerns and problems were rearranged and put back into perspective. I have yet to understand how L.J. continues to contact me at the perfect time. You see, this isn’t the first time that God has laid it on L.J.’s heart to just randomly send me a text message or call me. It could be something as simple as telling me that she prayed for me that day, or as convicting as challenging me to make time for God every single day. Each time this happens, though, I can’t help but drop everything I’m doing, close my eyes, and just genuinely thank the Lord for such an empowering friend and woman of God. Every single time I look at Curtis or L.J. or Jay, I am constantly reminded of how far I have come as well as Curtis and my relationship. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t a joy-ride. It was convicting and emotional. Every morning that I wake up and every night before I go to bed, I thank God for giving me such a wonderful, caring, spiritual, intense man of God in my life. Curtis, you have been by my side for almost two years now, and I have seen on so many occasions the Lord giving you the ability to be my strength when I was weak. You are always there to convict me if I’m wrong in my thinking, and I could never have imagined a better person to share my life with. And Curtis, you were first to show me what it really means to be so on fire for the Lord, and I thank you so much for that. You seem to have endless ways of showing me how much you love me, and I couldn’t ask for more. I love you, sweetheart.

The day didn’t just stop at the text message, either. When I got to work, I received an email with a note attached from Mitzi Hawley describing what should have been the most unbearable day for her. A year ago, today, her son and a dear friend of mine was killed in a motorcycle accident. As she mentioned in her letter, she was preparing to have a “pity party,” but even more so just a complete breakdown. Instead, she shared of how the exact opposite happened and how God lifted all her burdens off of her shoulders and she rejoiced. Mitzi also mentioned how God sent His angels to her this morning, to take care and watch over her, and it reminded me of the lyrics that L.J. had sent to me earlier this morning. The lyrics had even more relevancy when I looked them up in their entirety. It could not have just been coincidence. After reading her 4-page letter, I had yet another “God moment” for the second time today. It’s so encouraging to see others, with God’s strength working through them, being able to get through such hard times. We, as humans, can’t do it all by ourselves. And until we step back and realize that and put it all in His hands, we will be miserable trying to carry it all on our own.

“All my thoughts and this confusion

Brings me down to this conclusion

That I’m a man of conviction

I’ve wasted time out of window panes

No place to go to recreate

The feelings that I have inside

When I spend time with You

We are never alone

Bringin’ down angels today

His promises are true

He’s always closer than we’re far away…”

Excerpt from: Far Away by By The Tree

        The fourth week of my first semester back is almost over already, which means that the semester is also a quarter of the way through.  Time is going by so quickly and oddly enough, I’m also enjoying my time at the college.  It’s somewhat ironic that I now look forward to going to college more than I do going to work. 

        Among other things, I suppose the greatest changes in my life since going back to college are that I am trying contacts for the first time, and I also chopped off an entire foot of my hair.  I don’t think the back of my neck has seen this much sunlight since Elementary School.  It’s been a good change, though, and I couldn’t be happier with the results.  As for the contacts, I can’t say that they are going quite as smoothly.  It’s been almost a week and a half, and I think I’ve worn them…maybe…two full days.  I may just be being too picky.  However, I swear that my right eye feels blurry.  I went back to the eye doctor about this problem two days after getting the trial pair of contacts, and there was, in fact, some sort of substance covering both of the lenses.  So I thought, great, there in-lies my problem.  Now I’ll be able to see.   No such luck.  I still feel like there wasn’t any change.  I’m going back today, so I’m trying to stay hopeful.  I’m so tempted, though, to just pick out a pair of new frames.  I love how I look with glasses.  I think it adds a lot to my character. 

        On that note, I suppose I’ll end it here.  Because, quite frankly, I really don’t have much else to say.

“Someone please save us, us college kids!

What my parents told me is what I did

They said go to school and be a college kid

But in the end, I question why I did…”

Excerpt from: College Kids by Relient K

        Yesterday was so incredibly powerful for me because, yesterday, I believe God allowed me to experience and understand something that I was never able to completely comprehend before.  I cried.  Yesterday, I cried and not because of something that had anything whatsoever to do with myself.  As I was talking to Curtis on the phone yesterday, and he was explaining to me how upset he was with how things had been going for him at work, I cried for the sole reason that he was hurting.  His emotions directly affected mine, which in turn, made me realize a lot of what it means to love someone.  Never have I experienced such an overwhelming feeling of hurt and sadness due to a linkage to someone else’s emotions. 

        I honestly believe that God was trying to tell me something yesterday, and I also believe that it was just what I needed.  What awesome timing and how amazing is He for continuing to show his presense in our relationship. 

“Love, love me do

You know I love you

I’ll always be true

So, please love me do”

Excerpt from: Love Me Do by The Beatles